After A Long Hiatus

Though you have someone you love to depend on,

don't ever fully giving your all to them..

Save some for your own faith for it will help you along the process~

Cheers!

What To Do?

Tell me what should I do?

Tell me what I did wrong?

Tell me should I cry or should I smile?

Please, tell me what to do...

Because seriously, I don't have any idea of what I gonna do!

Never

Never thought that I would be lucky again,

Never thought that I could figure out myself

after long years of searching for the right me,

Never thought that I would find someone who actually understand

and never judge of what I did,

Never thought that I could finally spread my wings

and grow up despite of everything,

Never thought that I would smile

through the very worst moment of my life,

Never never never ever...

Just So You Know

I am happy and full of colors nowadays...

So, save your worries~

Glad

After I saw you today, I'm just glad I'm me and you are you...

Terima Kasih Tuhan

There was this one hole in my heart and now it's fixed..

Terima kasih Tuhan~

Today Is A Funny Day

Seriously, I longed for a good laugh and today was like a jackpot to me.. Why? I heard from my homey that some people who were once a big pain on my arse actually told my lecturers that they didn't know me.. Eerrgghhhh! Get real people! I know you have some issues with me but seriously...? That's how you acknowledged me in front of some professionals? Oh you nice and good people, THAT plainly showed and explained your attitudes! Maybe you didn't realized that people will start to see you in a different light when you said all those lovely things about others out loud.. Think of that before you talk ok? And please ---- do believe in karma.. Taa~

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la~ I'm happy! hahahahaha.

Sahabat Aku Bukan

At times, I feel very lonely.. Although I have him most of the time with me, still the loneliness will slowly crawling back in. I wonder what's up with me.. Maybe I didn't have what everyone called sahabat.. I used to believe in best friend until my very own died of brain tumor a few years ago.. God, I really miss her! She was one of a kind and always there for the best and the worst of me. Till then, I'm afraid of getting close with people just in case I would be losing them. And today, I love those around me but somehow they always left a big hole in my heart. ~Sigh! At this moment, I realized that I'm not born to be someone that some people are proud to call as FRIEND..

Sahabat... Mengapa kau pergi

Tinggal aku sendiri

Kau tahu aku tak sanggup

Sahabat... Ingatlah kau selalu

Jadi yang terbaik

Walau kau tak disini lagi

Sahabat... Aku rindu padamu

Datang walau sesaat

Ku ingin kau hadir

Aku disini dan menunggu

Diam tanpa dirimu

Kau tahu ku tak bisa

Beranjak terbang dan melayang

Tanpa dirimu ku tak bisa dan kembalilah

[[Dedicate this song to her : Sahabat - Aizat]]

Random Feelings, Random Hopes, Random Wishes

1. When I was younger, something terrible happen to me. I remember it vividly although I promised myself to not remembering those day and convinced myself hard that that incident was just a nightmare, but I realized that it actually happened.. A part of me was to be blamed but what was obvious is at that time, I don't have enough strength to prevent it.. Yeah, I was once a teenager but of what had happened, I regret it to this day. Nowadays, when the images were evoked within my mind, I secretly hope that I will be struck by lightning or hit by a car so that I lost that part of memories..
2. I really want to have fun.. Have fun like no one's watching... I'm pretty sure that I'm having fun this past few days but somehow my heart feels empty... I knew what is missing yet I don't want to think about it coz it brought bad memories with some sick pains that I manage to avoid over time.. God, help me.. Help me pass through this phase... Feeling like a refugee in my own world sucks! Seriously, I want to run away.. Meet new people, live in a new place, discover my hidden talent... urmmm~ Is it going to take place now? I hope so...
3. Many people I knew labelled me as a spoiled child or youngest child, even only child.. Why huh? Is it because of my attitudes? or is it my reactions towards certain things? urmmm.. I don't know what to say when people told me that, instead I will smile and act cute.. hahaha. Yes, I definitely am a bit manja but I personally think me as a tough kind of girl. I did everything of my power and never wail.. The act of cuteness, manjaness and mengadaness is actually the platform of me to attract my loves's attention, I guess..

Blehhh.. Mock me if you want coz I knew you want my attention too right?

erkkkkk? what happen to me?!!

Comeback

After a very long hiatus, I'm back.. Yeah, I know I'm such a lousy blogger for the long M.I.A but there's a lot of thing happening in my life for the time being..

Anyway, I finished my training. Feeling very satisfied for I don't like being a teacher that much but not that content with the upcoming outcome.. You see, my supervisor promised me to come and observe me while I'm teaching the good class but instead he observed me three times on the same class (the last class where everyone is so hyperactive and naughty)! WTH?? I understand that it's up to his preference whether to observe me whenever he likes but then, think of me for a second.. Even the class teacher said to me that there's no teacher in the school who can control them.. Me? I'm just their sisters' age, how can I fully control them?? Then, he promised me to come and observe me teaching the first class on the final week.. He didn't show up okay!? Really pissed off that time. I prepared such a good lesson and fun activities for him to watch but he didn't even care to come AND didn't say a word why he couldn't come! In fact, in the morning he should actually come, he smsed me saying that he will be coming.. ~ergghhhh!

Seriously, I never hate a lecturer this much.. His attitude didn't go along with his title.. Sorry for being harsh here sir.. You deserve this entry!

I'm angry!

3 Reasons Why After 7 Years I'm 70 instead of 48...

1. He always brought me to try the best eatery in town
2. He preferred to take me to a romantic dinner rather than giving me flowers
3. I start to learn how to cook with the thought to impress him (guess who eat the leftover?) lol.

~sigh... someone, please give me a damn good diet plan!!!

Oh My...

It kept on degrading.. It kept on decreasing.. I kept on losing.. ~sigh~ I guess I'd lost my touch.. Or maybe I'm not good at this.. Maybe I was born to do something else..

Hmm... Pretty simple huh? You can blame it on fate but who lead your action in drawing your fate? You are, always you and still you.. So, what to do? What should I do? What can I do? 

Simple questions with simple answers yet very challenging, no?

Satisfaction

Have a question in my mind. How could I know that my man was satisfied with all the thing I'd done for him? Don't really know why but my heart seems to clash with my mind. I love him so much that when reality hit me on the head, I have no idea how to react... ~sigh~ I did what others do ; questioned about his need for love, but it didn't feel right... I'm clueless! I want to do better, I want him to need me, remember me as a lady, treat me right but I'm not in the position to think of what I want right now but I have to figure out what he actually need from me... ~help me!~

Wish - Hope - Happiness

I wish for my November to be extraordinary... 

For that, I'm hoping that 'our' wishes somehow come true by the end of 2009! 

InsyaAllah... Pray with me you all... :)